Back to School in a Global Pandemic

The Arise Podcast sat down this week with Dr. Kimberly Riley and Desiree Cadengo, two License Family and Marriage Therapists, to talk about family systems, screen time and how to build community as we enter into another season of distance learning for our students and working from home all across the country.

Here’s the reality: "We need to be adjusting for the long haul" of distance learning says Dr. Kimberly Riley. At the end of the last school year, getting through distance learning was very much a hunker down and get through this. But as we look at the longevity and severity of COVID-19, we need to rethink how we're going to do this upcoming school year. 

Both Kimberly and Desiree emphasize the importance of having structure and a schedule at home; it provides stability and way to manage expectations. Kids are asking, "Is anything the same?" 

How can we expect kids to manage themselves when we as adults are having a hard time managing life under COVID? 
It’s up to the parents to lead by example by managing their own stress, not just with our words but also with their own good self care and healthy coping skills.

Everyone is adjusting; It's not just kids that are being displaced, many adults are working from home. We're all having to reimagine what normal looks like. 

In some cases, kids are actually doing a better job at adjusting than adults because they are in a growth mindset of constantly learning and adjusting to new routines during school days.

One of the biggest challenges for children during COVID is social isolation.  But there is something we can do about it: we can set up Zoom chats, phones calls and social distance gatherings outside. Kids need interaction with other kids, however that may look in this next season. Danielle emphasizes that it is important to put some of these practices in place before the weather turns and social distancing outside will be less possible. 

Since COVID started in early March, kids and adults like have had a dramatic increase in screen time. Dr. Riley says parents still need to monitor their child’s screen time. Screens can be helpful and educational... But there still needs to be time limits and parents need to know what the kids are watching. What they are watching is affecting them; Scary and inappropriate images, content above their age-level and cyber bullying are causing some kids to have nightmares. Parents are now becoming more aware; they can no longer be detached because they are actually at home with their kids.

COVID is illuminating basic parenting practices.

Kids need screen regulation as well as adults! We can be asking ourselves, "When am I going to put my phone down and be present?" These are opportunities to be honest with our kids when they ask us what you're doing on the screens; Are you working? Are you just zoning out? Are you looking for something funny to cope with this challenging season? Are you socializing? We must lead by example -- it's healthy for adults to have a time limit on screens as well. We all need balance!

We can also use screen as a tool to help with more meaningful engagement with each other. For instance doing art with a  "Step by step painting" video on YouTube. Get your Bob Ross on. Find coping skills and other ways to connect through exploration.

What do you already have do you already have around your house? There are likely already things that can entertain you in your home; Trying taking things apart and putting them back together. Try to be spontaneous and get creative. And it doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. Bake or cook or new recipe. Sleep in the tent out in the backyard. Make play dough. Use scrap paper and make a collage.

Your kids just want to be with you. Let them know you enjoy being with them by making time to being present and engaged.

You can listen HERE to hear the full conversation including tips on how to build community during this season.